“St. Paul promises to those who love God not, as we should expect, that they will know Him, but that they will be known by Him (1 Cor. 8: 3). It is a strange promise. Does not God know all things at all times? But it is dreadfully reechoed in another passage of the New Testament. There we are warned that it may happen to anyone of us to appear at last before the face of God and hear only the appalling words, “I never knew you. Depart from Me.” In some sense, as dark to the intellect as it is unendurable to the feelings, we can be both banished from the presence of Him who is present everywhere and erased from the knowledge of Him who knows all. We can be left utterly and absolutely outside—repelled, exiled, estranged, finally and unspeakably ignored. On the other hand, we can be called in, welcomed, received, acknowledged. We walk every day on the razor edge between these two incredible possibilities. Apparently, then, our lifelong nostalgia, our longing to be reunited with something in the universe from which we now feel cut off, to be on the inside of some door which we have always seen from the outside, is no mere neurotic fancy, but the truest index of our real situation. And to be at last summoned inside would be both glory and honour beyond all our merits and also the healing of that old ache.” CS Lewis The Weight of Glory.
Whenever I go through rough times, I listen to Irish music and read CS Lewis. Kiki has her own taste in music, but we both think with Lewis. Yesterday was a good day. I focused on what Kiki gained, not on what I had lost, and I couldn’t help but let my heart sing with joy. Both of us felt the alienation and spiritual displacement that comes from living in this fallen world. Both of us longed to go Home. Only a couple months before her death, Kiki posted this.
“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from — my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home? For indeed it now feels not like going, but like going back.” C. S. Lewis –Uggh, this book!
See what I mean about Lewis? So many times we think of what people will miss when they die. “They will never see this … or they will miss out on that.” It true, but we have an anemic view of what happens when our true Life begins. What Kiki has gained is glory, beauty, and love everlasting. Kiki’s prologue is now over, the real story of Kiki has begun. And it will be glorious! Can’t wait to see it.
When Jesus says, ‘I am the Lord of the Sabbath,’ Jesus means that He IS the Sabbath. He is the source of the deep rest we need.”
“When Jesus says, ‘I am the Lord of the Sabbath,’ Jesus means that He IS the Sabbath. He is the source of the deep rest we need.”