Joy in the Trenches began as a series of Facebook posts written during and after the final illness and death of my daughter, Kirstin Aileen Wheeler (1983 to 2019). I usually don’t post very much, but I was driven to write out the unfathomable sorrow that engulfed my family March 23rd as our Lord guided us through this very dark period of our lives (and continue to guides us). I’ve lost grandparents, a younger brother, and parents. Then I lost a child. All loss is devastating, but losing your child is like the wound from a morgul blade. It never heals. (I’m a fan of The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien.) We all suffer. How can we avoid it if we live in this fallen world? The question I’ve pondered my whole life was, “How can you hold on when the evil day comes?” Yeah. I was a strange child. Anyway, come along with me. I hope you can glimpse the answer God gave. Anyway, it’s always more comforting when you’re not alone as you travel on this road of life.
Ephesians 6:17 and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, I got my new sword yesterday. That might seem like a strange statement coming from a sixty-nine-year-old woman. If I said I received a new cross-stitch kit (which I...
*Stone of Help I Samuel 7:12 January 17, 2022 Today, my daughter would have turned thirty-nine. There was a World War I documentary called, “They Shall Not Grow Old.” It came out five months before she died, and I’ve always thought of it in connection to Kiki. She...
It is nine weeks, six days, and thirteen hours since Kiki died. Today, the grief has been gentled. Instead of being at home where everything brings back memories, I am in the Lake District of England with my brother, Tim, his wife, Kathy, and Kathy’s sister, Lynn....
It’s been two months. Two months since my daughter left this world. I still talk about her in the present tense. I still think of what I must share with her, what I must show her. The future is tough to think about now because it comes without Kiki. It’s astonishing...
Our job is to trust in God’s protection and to copy the actions of our Master and Savior, Jesus, who when he was reviled did not revile. We give glory to God when we suffer without hatred and retaliation. May 15, 2019 The mark of wisdom is to be ready for suffering....
It’s been six weeks since Kiki died, seven since she became sick with the stomach virus that caused her death. There’s still a sense of unreality about it. I still pray for her and Mike when I pray for my kids and their spouses. Coming across her picture still brings...
It’s been a hard weekend. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve been able to catch up on sleep, binge-watch Designated Survivor, start a painting, start a new chapter in my latest book, and even got to the store. Sounds great, right? Unfortunately, a quiet house is a haunted...
I made it through my first holiday without Kiki, and I only cried a little. There should be medals for people grieving losses. My life is now forever split in two; before Kiki’s death and after Kiki’s death. I woke up this morning and thought, “Ugh. Another day....
Sharon said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my daughter would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your daughter will rise again.” Sharon said to him, “I know that she will rise again in the...
The theme that runs through all of [Elizabeth] Elliot’s work is that to trust God when we do not understand him is to treat him as God and not as another human being. It is to treat him as glorious—infinitely beyond us in his goodness and wisdom. But, as Jesus says,...